by Maddy Dahm /Queentide
Maddy, who is in a band called Queentide — see @queentide.band —“ wrote about the scary, life-altering days and weeks following her TNBC diagnosis at age 24.
This song is about that period of time when you find our life will never be the same. I found out I had to start chemo as soon as possible, and that I’d certainly loose my hair. Here’s how I later felt about going bald:
Going bald seemed like one of the scariest things I’d ever have to do. How would I walk in public, go to a bar, get on stage, or to paddle out to surf? I feared I’d look weird, frail, ugly, or weak — like a sick person.
Turns out, shedding my hair was more of a battle preparation before I stepped into my shining armor for the real war against cancer. The physical and emotional battles embedded throughout chemo, radiation and surgery end up being the true test of my strength. What cancer made me is not weak, but stronger than I’ve ever been in my whole life, and it’s like my shiny pale head was there to remind me of that.
When you see a person bald from medicine and disease, see them for their strength. We’re fighting and probably pretty proud to have showed up. We made it to that cafe/bar/show/surf spot, and that’s a victory in itself — even if we just came from having a scan done or getting our blood drawn or chemotherapy or lymphedemia physical therapy or whatever appointments us cancer warriors have to deal with on a weekly, sometimes daily basis.
It doesn’t mean I was overall happy about being bald, but it sure made me feel like I was wearing a little extra badge of bravery. I won’t miss you, bald, but I sure appreciate what you showed me.
The song, and other music by @queentide.band can be found in the bio of their Instagram, on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music:
Lyrics are below!