Cancer Slam

by Amy Jenner

 
Mind awake but mind dead
Here again without a break
Without any warning
Thrown chest first

Slammed straight back
In to cancer
In to chemo
In to surgery
Repeat repeat repeat

Steroids raging
Injections rippling
Chemo wrecking
Surgery scars growing
Medication rattling

I trusted that it had stopped
I had a couple of months
Where I believed it had stopped
I thought I was done

But the tumour springs back
And the torture begins
Endless scans
Endless wait
Endless sobbing

No respite
No time to recover from last time
Fuck you body we are doing it again
Fuck you head we are right back
Fuck all of this

I thought I was done
I’m done now
I’m so done