by Adriana E.S.F.
“I came across the Japanese art of kintsugi during chemotherapy. The concept, of mending broken pottery with gold, stuck with me. Many times I felt broken, but I kept kintsugi in mind. I painted the mastectomy scar gold too, as I see it as a part of my story now. The image of a phoenix has also been important to me, both physically rising from the ashes of all the medical treatment, but also emotionally. The backdrop of the dark sky represents my feeling of being lost, an existential crisis in the aftermath of cancer. The plant growing out of the mended bowl represents my growth as a person, and also of hope and regeneration. In the foreground the Phoenix can be seen in an unusually restful state, it is the place I am hoping to reach.”
Healing with Gold
I didn’t hate my left breast, I still loved her.
She was part of me and I dreaded losing her forever.
She would be resurrected from the ashes, like the Phoenix.
That’s what I called her, the new one, Phoenix.
My spirit had to become the Phoenix too.
From being broken down I had to rise high.
Well, I didn’t have to, but I chose to. I chose to look to the light above me.
I’m being healed with gold, like the art of Kintsugi.
What was broken will be more beautiful.
I love my new body, she tells the story of a warrior.
My body is my life and my friend, not my enemy,
and beautiful despite the changes.
I was given a second chance,
And I’m in awe of how strangers mended me.
They are forever a part of me now.
As I grow from the broken cracks, healing with gold,
There will be a day that I will be at peace,
The pain an echo only.
It’s a day I long for.